What we think we want vs. what really makes us happy may be very different things.

Think about the time you spent day dreaming about that activity or job that you thought you really wanted. You maybe visualized what life would be like when you achieved those things. When you really got into the job, however, you discovered that it wasn’t what you visualized. Reality and fantasy are two different things.

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called. ~A.A. Milne

So sometimes the reality of eating the honey was OK, but it wasn’t as good as the idea of how the honey was going to taste. Some people do this with foods. Imagine the taste of some Cheetos chips. Think about the flavor, the crunchiness and feel the desire to be satisfied. However, after eating Cheetos, you may have a weird taste in your mouth, things are sticking to your teeth. And are you really satisfied? Most people aren’t, and yet here’s a bag of Cheetos. Maybe if you eat more, you’ll get the experience you thought you were going to get at the beginning. It’s not really there, it’s what you thought might be there. It’s what you hoped would be there.

Before we set our hearts too much on anything, let us examine how happy are those who already possess it. ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

However, there’s also a balance. Some things aren’t as bad as they seem to be. Sometimes the most disgusting job you ever thought you would do ends up being the most enjoyable and memorable. Some studies have shown that a janitor has one of the most satisfactory jobs out there. It may not be a dream job for most people, but then, what is your real dream? An office or the steady salary? Or where you hoping for a sense of accomplishment in a job well done? In this, you’d go home and feel good about the work you’ve done, knowing that somewhere out there, someone else may be helped or benefit from the work you’ve done that day.

My crown is called content, a crown that seldom kings enjoy. ~William Shakespeare

Think about what really makes you happy. Gardening costs little to nothing, and can make people very happy. Reading a book can cost nothing if you borrow books from the library. Sometimes to lower the cost of things you really want to do, you have to become more creative or network to get those items, but it can be done.

Most of the things we really like to do costs very little. Most of the things we don’t like or don’t really want costs a lot more. It’s value perception. I get a lot of value from reading a book that may have cost me nothing but a few minutes of my time to pick out from the library. However, I don’t particularly care for flying. I’m not afraid of it, but it’s not totally enjoyable to me. If the plane were a private jet and I was served cookies and milk instead of peanuts, would it make being up in the air more enjoyable? I don’t think I’d go out of my way to just get on a plane. I’d rather go in the back yard and garden.

Isn’t it cool when the days that are supposed to feel good, actually do? ~Jim Carrey

When I took my test, and I was given a list of careers, I wasn’t satisfied. It was too narrow of a list. I wanted to do what was on my list, and I wanted to do more. Private investigator sounded great. So did interior design. So did scientist and explorer and piano player and acting.

And like Sarah Kay, I was disappointed to learn that I probably wouldn’t be able to do everything I really wanted in one life time. Like her, I turned to writing because it gave me the excuse to explore every career, every type of life I could think of or even make up in my own head.

I think this is why I felt lost at college. I’m having to pick one category to sit myself in, when everything is interesting and nothing is “exactly” what I wanted. Because it felt limited.

And inside I knew that writing was the only way to live all of those lifetimes, or at least imagine doing so.

And sometimes fiction is far more fun than the reality.

First, Suave freebies that came out from Wal-Mart. Those Wal-Mart freebies usually say 4 to 6 weeks but they usually show up in a week.

Free lotion, free men’s body wash and free “dry shampoo”. I don’t know about dry shampoo, but it’s a freebie. Will try it out.

This one I bought. Shhhh. Don’t tell the Cajun.
It’s The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N.K. Jemsin. I’ve heard a lot about it so I’m excited about that one.

This one is Coming Up For Air by Patti Callahan Henry. I won this in a book blog contest.

And the last thing:

I won a $25 gift certificate from an online blog. The gift certificate was for an online kitchen website and I got this can opener from it. I know, not fancy but we needed one!

Getting my hair cut.

I don’t mind my hair being cut. In fact, I love when my hair was just cut and I’ve got a new style or color or something. Of course a new hair cut makes you feel thinner and attractive, something that’s not always true but it sounds good.

It’s just that part about getting your hair cut that’s really awkward. You’re asking a person who you sometimes don’t know to touch you in what would otherwise be considered very intimate for the next hour or so, depending on how long it takes.

First, there’s the sitting to wait where you go in and think you know what you want. You know you just want a simple cut and maybe a highlight. Then as you are sitting and waiting your turn, there’s a handful of books of beautiful men and women with a wide variety of colors and hair styles. So you’re spending time looking through this stuff and of course you visualize every really beautiful woman as yourself and you assume you can pull off the same hair cut.

But the reality is, none of the women or men working in those salons have created those hair cuts or colors. And it’ll be just the thing to end up with a new beauty salon graduate and you give them the most difficult thing to do with your hair. Except you don’t know it’s difficult and you won’t know they’re new until you’re stuck in a chair with 3 other stylists looking at you sympathetically as something chemical dries on your head and they’re giving the new kid 10 different suggestions as to what can be done to fix it.

Beyond the weirdness that could happen, and has happened, there’s the other part. You’re spending a good portion of your time with someone who for some reason feels compelled to talk to you. If you’re a chatty person and like people to talk to, this is a great experience for you, but if you’re a shy geek girl like me, there’s nothing to do but reply awkwardly and hope that one of the other stylists aren’t too busy so they can chat and you can zone out of the conversation.

Yes, so getting a hair cut is not something I completely enjoy. Until it’s over. Then I feel really good. At least for a while until the newness wears off and I’m back to a year or more wondering if I should go get a hair cut and putting it off.

Or maybe I’m the only one who gets weirded out at hair salons.

Before:

After:

Next week I have my last few days of class and the week after will be final exams. Last year, I was sick with the flu. I fully blame the Cajun for that. He was sick first. And then breathed on me.

But this year, I got a cold on spring break. (Yay, sick on spring break instead of finals! That’s what every kid wants!)

So we just got a Nook, the color version. We’re both fighting over it, of course.

We found a deal on Craig’s List this time for it. We had been thinking about buying one. And then we were checking out tablets instead of e-readers, but we couldn’t decide.

We like it so far, but we’re having trouble connecting it to our wireless network. At the Cajun’s mom’s house, it’s fine. Here, it’s not fine. I’ve fiddled with buttons in the router and tried updating the software (only one update for the Nook so far?) and that didn’t help.

Honestly, I haven’t spent a long time reading on it yet. The color screen looks sharp, and he dug reading a free National Geographic (a trial issue from Barnes and Noble). I have more questions about it though, like if it’s going to be comfortable reading for hours on end.

Looks pretty, though, doesn’t it?

Will probably show it off in a video soon.

Well with final exams showing up, I’m not really over studying. I’m really just writing. 20,000 words into a 75,000 revision, and going pretty strong. I had a weak morning today and dawdled a lot, but still managed to sink in 1,500 words. Not bad, but with any luck this will be done by the end of May, and on to book two.

Yes, I’m in forum self ban mode now. Three months without typing a word in a forum. The blog being my only place to voice my opinion and thoughts. It’s hard to resist, because there’s so many great folks in forums that are all too helpful and fun. Unfortunately,the forums are also hideously addictive.

As for final exams, I’ve studied all year and I’ve done my homework. With any luck, I don’t completely fail them all and I might even make a B in accounting.

Ooooh accounting teacher with your wild grading patterns. How I love the thought of answering the last question on the exam and walking out the door. At least for the summer.

After that, it’s writing, writing… oh hey, there’s cookies on the counter.

Did you lose some plastic piece on the floor in your house? Don’t worry. Bonehead will find it for you! Just listen for the crunching.

He prefers softer plastics but will settle for a plastic bag from Wal-Mart.

When you hear Bonehead eating plastic, it turns into a scramble to grab him and pull out whatever piece he was chewing on. This may be a small piece to pull away from his gnashing teeth, but it’s usually a strip of some kind, half of it down his throat and already on its way to his stomach.

You really wanted to know that part, I could tell.

According to the web, it’s because he’s either lacking in vitamins, the plastic smells like food, he’s bored, he’s a stupid cat, or there’s animal fat used to make the plastic. So really, they don’t know.

Some were claiming if you tried to pull plastic out of his mouth, you could accidentally pull his intestines out of his mouth!

Some were pulling from the other end, when it starts to come out. Ew. No.

I’ve pulled from his mouth, never seen it coming out the other end. Either I’m lucky or he’s unlucky.

They say take your cat to the vet when he chews on plastic, but who wants to take their cat to the vet every other day?

Missy does not eat plastic, she simply likes to sit on things. Everything. A box you just opened, she’ll want to sit in it, sometimes before you take out your copy of Obama’s new book or that new Delta faucet.

She’ll sit in it for a maximum of two days and then she will never sit on it again. You either have to wear it for at least two hours or need to use the thing, then she’ll want it. Otherwise, it’ll sit abandoned.

She loves anything of mine that naturally attracts cat hair. Like my black pair of pants, or the nice fuzzy sweater. She loves the Cajun’s blue coat, the one that loves her cat fur back!

Sometimes they sit in the box together.

And often enough times, they’ll just sit on anything I happen to be working on at the moment.

Only other cat owners will really understand. Or people with small children. Or horses. Or a monkey.

Not dog owners, though. That’s just silly.

I’ll be back at school soon.

The one thing I have noticed, however, is that I don’t have very much to do right now. Unlike last semester where I had to run paperwork all over the university and there were people to see.

And it is actually making me nervous because I suspect there’s something to do. Like I’m missing something important. Some t wasn’t crossed. Did I forget to talk to some random person so they could check a computer and mark me as “able to attend classes”?

Because that’s what entering college was like. I think you jump through more hoops getting into a university than you do getting a job.

But anyway, back to classes. Economics, Accounting, Psychology, Piano… etc.

Luckily, being 30 that I am, I have been able to blend in OK with other students. *knocks on wood* I think it could be a good thing I don’t look my own age.

I should say there are a lot of older students, though. Many who had careers and are just going for fun or trying to change careers. Unfortunately they all think I’m 18 and not their age until they actually talk to me and ask.

I have two cats. Missy and Bonehead.

Guess which one is Bonehead.

My sisters will complain about his name. “It’s too mean.”

Trust me. This cat has earned his name.

He will pick up bits of plastic and will eat them.

Mmm… look at that tasty bit of plastic leftover from a gum wrapper. NOMNOMNOMNOM.

Is that the plastic wrap from a freshly bought DVD? NOMNOMONOMNOM!

Why look! You just bought some index cards. They aren’t even out of the wrapper! I’ll just chew on it and get it off of there for you.

Nom.

Of course, this requires that I or the Cajun get up and chase him around until we catch him and physically reach into his throat and pull out the plastic.

I didn’t want to draw a picture of that part.

The other one, Missy, mostly sits on stuff and will glare at you for the majority of the day. It’s only when you are sleeping that she may meow for your attention. This is random and could be anything and she’s usually tattletelling on someone else in the house.

“The boys are still up and watching TV and it’s 2 minutes after you normally yell at them to go to sleep!”

“The house dropped 3 degrees since you’ve gone to bed!”

“I think I’m stuck in the bathroom. The door closed all by itself on me.”

“Bonehead puked up another piece of plastic and whatever half-digested food he had for lunch!”

They are very different from each other, but they are the best of buddies. They tussle, but eventually Bonehead gives in to the wrath of Missy and everyone gets along for a while.

I’m pretty sure they plot against us.

It’s not always a good deal, though. Some games only let you play for free for a limited time. Some have item shops that are so totally unfair, it skews the game play. Finding the right balance of free, fair and fun can be a hassle. Especially when a lot of games are over a few gigs to download.

Here’s a few winners to take advantage of:

Runes of Magic – Talked about this one, but it is becoming my favorite. The game play is smooth and similar to WoW. There’s a sharper learning curve if you are completely new to online MMO games, but stick with it. While there is an item shop, there’s nothing you can’t get on your own. Spend enough time on it and you’ll be with the elites in no time.

What I love best about this one is that you can make your own weapons, so your weapon may have unique stats and no one else may have exactly the same stats as yours.

Flyff – This one is being updated! But it is a lot of fun. Level up enough, and your character can fly. The graphics are cute. It gets a little tedious running errands back and forth, and drops can be difficult to get, but it balances out. It should be interesting to see the update.

Dungeons and Dragons Online – DDO is a little “heavier”. A darker game, but a different game play with puzzles and very interesting set ups. This one also has an item shop, but again, you can get most anything you need in the game.

Perfect World – This one is also getting a makeover, but hopefully it will be even better than the first version. There’s elements of Flyff and WoW, but different world, great graphics and personalization of the characters.

In fact, gPotato creates a number of free MMOs.

Are free MMOs the way to go?

So, another great day. No weight loss from the last time I mentioned… I mentioned a 3 lbs. loss last week right?

So 27 lbs. to go right now. Had some great food from Nutrisystem this week. Still digging the bars for after lunch. Today I forgot mine. *horror!* So I had to wait to get home before I could have one. It was OK though. I had brought enough fruit with me to snack on until I got home.

And I’ve quit working in the physics department. :*( I had to. With a 17 credit hour line up from school, I was falling behind with my other part time work.

Besides that, I thought I might switch majors.

Will I still be a geek girl without a science? I’m thinking of getting into economics. I love reading about business and about the stuff that matters. I like science, don’t get me wrong, but I have to go with what I read. (Writer’s code, right? Write what you read. Go with what you read.)

Anyway.

It was hard to tell my boss that I had to quit. Ever had to do that? Tell a boss to quit? Worse, one you liked and felt bad for leaving them? It was hard to do. I wrote a simple email letting him know that I just don’t have the time and I felt like I was pulling everyone down with me with my crazy schedule. It might be better that he bring in someone else who can keep up.

Might be the last time he ever gets a freshman to work for him. *grimaces*

He said he figured I was going to do that, with the lack of time I had. He said he understood but I thought he sounded a little disappointed.

He’s a great prof. I hope he knows that. He’s done great with the kids he has taught. Several that I met got their masters and a couple went on to get doctorates. Great teacher. Loves barbecue and sci fi books. Gotta love that.

When I got home, I folded into my desk chair and blew a sigh of relief. I couldn’t believe I had done it but I also felt so much better about quitting. I feel like I have ample time. And when I manage to find a smidgen of free time, I might be able to breathe a little.

I swore to the Cajun that I wouldn’t have a crazy schedule like this after this semester. I overloaded myself. I’m sure I’m driving him crazy. What with the not being here and when I am here, I’m buried underneath paperwork, homework, part time work, and housework. “Where’s the Cajun love?”

So next semester I’m planning to have only four courses on my plate, and I hope to have them all on two days a week. This way I won’t have to spend every single day on campus. It will allow me to do work three days a week and I can catch up on everything like that.

Hope. Hope. Hope.

Great song though, isn’t it?

I wish to thank Nutrisystem for sending all the many yummy foods listed here and in previous posts. Learn more about Nutrisystem at their website, on Facebook or through Twitter. I highly recommend signing up for Nutrisystem. The website is free to join so you can learn all about it before making a commitment.